You're dropping a deuce and suddenly have a bomb at your feet, what the hell do you do?

If you cannot answer that simple question, you might want to keep reading.


If you are familiar with some of the lingo thrown about drunken or sober Bomberman gatherings, then you may have heard either caught in the can or caught on the can used to describe the moment at which you find yourself trapped by a bomb with no escape. This is often at the hands of a foe, or a disease such as the Shits, but it may have been your own fault as well. I prefer being caught in the can because it gives me other options than just vacating my bladder, but possibly taking a shower or whatever else people do in the bathroom. Recently, friends and I decided that being caught in the honey pot worked as well, for when you are trapped while being a greedy mofo and grabbing powerups without paying attention to your surroundings or the enemies tailing you. Feel free to invent more on your own…

Now that you understand the name, because I am not sure some may get it if I do not explain it, there is a simple truth that must be told. There are plenty of Bomberman websites out there, run by more talented and Japanese-fluent people than myself. However, I have some sick fascination with the series and always find myself coming back to it. I could give half a rat's ass if you even like to play it, or even know what the hell I am babbling about. Honestly, this collection of data is for my own pleasure and for the use of anyone who finds it worthwhile. If you can't, go play something else and get the hell out of my tubes. I may be cussing or I may put you to sleep with details no human need ever know. If that's a problem, erase this url from your memory with a nice bottle of vodka and go outside where there's this thing called sky.

Still there? Pity, I was hoping this bus would be light enough to make those cool fucking jumps over the railroad tracks, you know? The more of you weighing it down means we get less airtime. I mean, we can only borrow this short bus for so long before people start to wonder where it ran off to…

The hardest part about trying to write about Bomberman is that there is so much data out there to try and bring in and somehow compress for the uninitiated to consume. It does not make it any easier that the game series is mostly reserved to releases in the very awesome yet unfamiliar tongue of the Rising Sun. The Japanese have given Americans and others plenty of crazy content over the years to collect, and for me, it just happens to be this mad simple yet sometimes strangely complicated and silly story of some dudes in costumes, tossing explosives around for varied reasons. Are they robots? Are they aliens? I don't even think you can really say, because Hudson Soft has tweaked the story so many times, it's a little bit of all that. If Bomberman were a soup, you would likely sip it once and find it bland, then sip it again and wonder who decided shoes made a good bouillon base.

Do not expect anything of these pages. I am mostly using data compiled during an earlier phase of my Internet life before I had a monitor that could discern the horrific effects of JPEG and GIF compression. I had no real concept of adequate resolution size for scans and really am just surprised any of the shit is salvageable to be honest. I have consistently borrowed images from eBay and Google and will credit them where applicable, but unless you nutters want APA formatted citations you are out of luck on getting the true source of some of this data. Most of my screen captures were made using various emulators, the best use of them, in my opinion.

Click up on the menu bar to see what sorts of categories I decided to break the accumulated info into and continue enduring this sad excuse for edutainment. Grab a dish of curry chicken or a nice German beer and just let the madness wash over you. Better have a pillow, bitch.


Since there was nearly no way for anyone insane enough to wander this tag-less wasteland to know which reviews were finished and which pages simply were fluff for now, I added the temporary shortcut in the menu for finished reviews. This should allow some of the pain in your head to subside, until you read the epic reviews.

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